I know what you mean. It’s a bit like this, but without the mousers:
🍻🍷 The Map of 🇲🇷 Booze thread whatever the title says (or is changed to when moderately intoxicated)
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Had a really heavy week as I had a mate over from Germany so had to ‘entertain’ him.
A couple of nights off and I’m out again tonight with the girls from work which means I will have to suffer neither the match-day thread nor the horror of being at the match.
Cunts.
An epic fail Wednesday.
Picked up a Finnish family. 6ft blonde Daughter came out early, we chatted, she was just back from a gap year in Aus. We chatted for a good 30 mins. In the Van she said she wanted a night out in town as family were too young/old. Did I know/could I do a personal tour dinner bars/clubs on Friday - today.
I declined due to family commitments.
Mrs P_F then cancelled those this morning & is staying at her Mum to help prepare for those commitments
I could have been paid to take a seriously attractive 20 something blonde Scandinavian girl out partying tonight. All food & drink paid.
I didn’t take her number.
Ffs.
I hate myself.
But probably a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Except I will now have to watch the game.
IPA inbound.
I REALLY cant believe I made such a schoolboy error.
It got worse when Mrs P_F messaged me and said take that blonde out. I need to buy a new jacket for the office…
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That last message from Mrs P_F.
She knows you.
She’s taking the piss.
Sounds a keeper, so overall, well done.
Enjoy the beers. Football, i’d rather not say, but i’m not going and no one seems positive, so who knows(i won’t even bet on us).
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Also I’ve thrown tea over the new cushions. Bad stuff.
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I so wish I had gone out
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Seance Mary’s Stadium
At least all the Vloggers have gone home
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Worst defeat at home since even before LLS was born
Lots of FPL point for me though
On a positive note. The Lidl Amarone for 5 quid a bottle was wonderful
Get Im! More FPL poimts
So long & thanks for all the fish Ralph. Can’t dfend you when you keep picking that midfield
I’m on a 6% grapefruit sour gose that’s twisting my melon man.
Woke up from a Conflux dream that saw saints lose 9-0 at home.
Powerful shit.
I am have consume just enough that if I stand on my head when looking at the result 0-9, it suddenly becomes an epiphany of wonder and light and stuff
time for a dram
Nine?? 
Fuck that hot chocolate and J20 shit - I’m in the shed brewing my own mouldy potato and pickling vinegar Malt, while swigging shots of matured floor polish out of a car battery, and toasting our club owner with creosote and paint stripper chasers.
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Drinking Guide Dog dry since 9.00 PM.
Cunts!
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Drunk Steal Town dry and am now in Wetherspoons.
I’m in here with the Joker so this is awkward.