Did you give Lou your skype bear? That seemed like loads of fun. Wouldn’t want you to miss out on that call.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m shit at poetry,
Get your tits out.
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You missed “for the lads”
Are you really wanting to tempt the wrath of @LouLouMySweet
I actually just looked that up on twitter. 
I should insit on my kids all calling me that…
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Must’ve heard hundreds of such “significantly stupid things said” over the years, but when there’s a thread about them, they elude my memory. 
There was one ex-GF I was trying to teach about and get into cricket. At one point the commentator says “and he’s just smashed that one into Cow Corner”. She says " but there aren’t any corners on a cricket pitch?"
Same girl: Someone’s just got kitted up to go into Silly Point, which the commentator has duly noted. Her: “Why does he have to put all that stuff on for getting a silly point? And anyway, surely scoring a point is a good thing!?” 
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The crowning glory of all stupid things.
We draw in the dying seconds having been ahead all game
‘Ah well, at least you didn’t lose. I don’t understand why you are so upset’
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Once, in the 5.5 years we have been together, I kicked girl whilst asleep**.
Absolute carnage.
8/10 nights girl thinks I’m a climbing frame whilst asleep. I mention this, comment on how little sleep I get and the damage it does to my already bad back.
“Well I can’t do anything, I’m asleep. Stop trying to make me feel guilty about it”.
**should be noted I was completely hammered too. Not that alcohol makes domestically violencing partners any more acceptable, of course.
Start wetting the bed, she’ll soon stick to her own side.
You’re a fucking snoozethug, KRG.
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Being asleep is a great excuse for poor behaviour. Next time she climbs on you in the night shout right in her face:
“FUCKING GET OFF ME AND GET THE DINNER ON WOMAN! AND IRON MY SHIRT!”
Then start snoring.
So, this reminds me of a night many years ago.
the Ayatollah and I had retired to bed after indulging in a couple bottles of claret and half a pound of cheese. I promptly passed out and was in the midst of a really vivid dream (the cheese) when I got a sharp punch to the ribs and the Ayatollah declaring jihad on my ass.
this dream I was having involved me playing in the rugby World Cup final in the place of Jonny Wilkinson. Anyway time was ticking by and we had got the ball down deep in their 22. Matt Dawson spins the ball out from a ruck and I launched a huge drop kick, straight into to sleeping form of the Ayatollah.
never did find out if I scored.
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going to say you most likely didn’t, and not for quite a while after that either.
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Originally posted by @pap
You’re a fucking snoozethug, KRG.
lol you met me, have you ever met anyone my size less thuggish?
FFS Die Pap! Please untag me from this shit, everytime there is a fight or someone’s bird does something stupid, my inbox gets spammed. I’m outta pap’s web, enough!
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Cheers Louis , done!
btw Vodafone are cunts. It’s one, tops two down from funding terrorism/Steve Grant.
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I have to say, reading this thread makes me quite glad to be single.