We are getting battered
If we drop any deeper we will be in Reading
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We win!
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Just donāt look at the match stats
Great winā¦3 points for Saints, 3 points for me. 
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A welcome win, but didnāt we make hard work of it?
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3 points is 3 points. Tough watch for the last 20 though!
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58 clearances - fucking hell
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That was a very important result in our battle against relegation
Thought THB and Stephens defended well tonight.
I didnāt see the game, playing pool in the local pool league you know, but I canāt believe this for a minute.
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THB won some very important headers and Stephens didnāt fuck up.
Itās a low bar at.
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I shall celebrate our win with a few beers on the beach spending the first winnings from a Saints game in bloody ages 
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Are you sure you were watching Saints, this does not sound like a description of these players..
Stephens f##ked up less than usual
He hasnāt played for ages - he is out of practice
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Aussie match report.
SAS Match Report v QPR:
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A Southampton manager being sacked has normally been a good reminder to change the batteries in your smoke alarm. More recently itās a better indicator of when to put fuel in your car.
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And so here we are, heading into another match with a new manager in charge and itās Tonda Eckert, who mustāve been walking past Draganās office straight after he sacked Will Still. They do say timing is everything..A minute later and it couldāve been Adrian Butterworth from accounts moving the magnets.
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A trip to Loftus Read is always fun, unless youāre a balding winger. It must be the only camera angle in world sport that can make your nauseous from your couch.
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There are a few noticeable changes to the starting lineup. The first of which is the return of Jack Stephens, for the first time since it was rumoured that an unnamed club captain had had a run in with their manager. You donāt need to be Stephen Hawking to put 2 and 2 together there. Jay Rob also came back into the side for his first start since August. Still canāt work that one out. And lastly, Macca makes way for Bazunu and I can only assume itās because Tondiola doesnāt want any players older or greyer than him in the side..
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The game finally kicks off after all my incoherent ramblings and we look sharp, aggressive and keen to attack. We might finally get a hit of that sweet, sweet new manager bounce. If this lasts we could be back in the top haā¦it didnāt last. QPR take over from about 5 minutes in and are throwing everything at us. By everything I mean speculative and/or inaccurate shots from an out-of-form lower half Championship team.
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Weāre currently holidaying in New Zealand and this game kicked off locally at 8.45am. Weāre surrounded by snow-capped mountains that are bathed in morning sunshine and glistening above the lush green fields, which are home to a variety of animals that, unlike Australia, arenāt going to kill us. Itās truly beautiful and Iāve shunned it all to watch a turgid Championship game on a TV barely bigger than a toaster. 0 shots on target to either team at half time and 1 life currently being reassessed.
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As I sip my second morning coffee outside to the peaceful sounds of birds chirping, I suddenly hear the not so peaceful sound of Jo Tessem talking. Seems the second half is underway and itās back inside for more cruelty and punishment.
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Whatever Eckertinho said at half time seems to have worked much better than the recent monotonous mumblings of our melanin-depeived former manager. We suddenly look less like a League Two side and more like a..semi-competent second division outfit and itās the uber-talented wunderkind August Robinson who expertly takes a little legs ball into a dangerous position and with some much needed and overdue luck, the deflected shot hits the back of the net. 1-0. Weāve been here before..
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Thankfully, Jack Stephens is already on the pitch, so he canāt be subbed on to replace our best player. That best player, Leo Scienza, recently met our all time best player and it appears like the magic of Le God has rubbed off on Leo God as he gracefully strides through the middle of the park and into a dangerous position. Thereās no cartoon calamity like the Boufal goal v West Brom, but itās every bit as enjoyable and this super talented Luxembourgish Brazilian is becoming an absolute joy to watch. 2-0 Saints
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This is the first time weāve lead by this margin in over a year and it shows. We look like a sumo wrestler at a salad bar. Shocked and confused. The confusion comes to a head when no greys Gavin sort of..not really comes for a ball and ends up in no manās land. 2-1 and itās now a lead weāre much more familiar and fragile with.
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With both our goal scorers having limped off and an American tourist subbed on, it appears that the idea of scoring again is off the cards. It certainly isnāt for QPR as they have more shots than a half price night at a backpackers bar. Baz is looking incredibly shaky until he looks incredibly sublime minutes later.. Heās like the musician who can play Mozart note perfect, but then shuts the lid on his fingers breaking three of them.
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The last thirty minutes seems to go on for at least four months until the ref gets the party started with the sweet sound of the full time whistle. I canāt believe it. Weāve actually won a game. Our 5th in our last 4,675,238 games and a 100% win rate for Tondalotti
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Time to go outside and enjoy the rest of my holiday before tuning back in at 4am on Sunday for a date with a handsome square-jawed Spanish chap. See you all then
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āThis is the first time weāve lead by this margin in over a year and it shows. We look like a sumo wrestler at a salad bar. Shocked and confused.ā
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Thankfully, Jack Stephens is already on the pitch, so he canāt be subbed on to replace our best player
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