Indeed. I got caught short in the King Alfred pre-match once. No lock on the door. I gave up on ‘the-old-slipping-foot-against-the-door’ method after a while and just coiled one out in full view.
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Also, that fatal mistake of not checking whether there’s toilet roll before unleashing hell on the toilet pan and consequently your arse cheeks. I got asked why I was walking funny by my line manager a few years back…
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One thing i often find disconcerting is when you walk into the toilet shortly after someone else has been in there. The seat is still warm and the pungent aroma of the previous guests bowels still lingers. This can be offputting but after a few minutes the scent fades. The thing is, I’m never really sure whether the scent really fades or is it just that I become accustomed to the smell and my brain then filters it out. The first option I can live with but the second option repulses me quite a lot. The idea of it feels a bit like I’ve been violated by the previous guest.
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Inevitably, you never get a clean break when there is no roll or what’s left on the roll wouldn’t make a cats bikini.
I saw a film one time and in the film it said that whenever you smell something, what you’re actually doing is consuming tiny little bits of it. I wish they hadn’t mentioned that. It’s one thing to think you’re smelling the gases and whatnots naturally produced by faeces, it’s another thing entirely to know you’re eating other people’s shit.
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I can’t stand it myself, but i think you become accustomed to it, unfortunately. I agree it is a grotesque thought.
One chap I work with, who by modern standards, has a poor diet, is nonetheless very regular and is always in the craphouse by 8.15am, for a good 15 mnutes. The resultant carnage leaves a fetid air only sewage workers could tolerate and which lasts for a good half hour or more, effectively rendering the WC unusable during this time. When you dare to enter the trap afterwards it is 50/50 whether you are greeted by an “Acker Bilk 'tash” decorating the bowl, just above the waterline.
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@stickywhitedovepiss yours is a contender for post of the year. Hope it gets recognised in the annual awards.
Pure Sotonians gold…or rather, brown.
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On the flipside, I find it quite funny when my bowells have been particularly creative both in sound and fetor, someone casually walks into the cubicle directly as I have left as if they weren’t aware of what has just happened. Maybe they enjoy it. Maybe some are deaf or anosmic. Either way it feels like a win for me.
Also with regard to SWDP’s epic tale, if the film rights were ever picked up I’d like to see it filmed ‘Memento’ style. Or ‘Black Hawk Down’ style, I’d be happy with either of those.
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Also with regard to SWDP’s epic tale, if the film rights were ever picked up I’d like to see it filmed ‘Memento’ style. Or ‘Black Hawk Down’ style, I’d be happy with either of those.
I’d give it the Benny Hill treatment myself.
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Fair dos, I just see it as more of a tense action/thriller 
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