Sometimes we would go scrumping so we could make cider and one day an old bloke caught us.
He tried to chase us off but my mate had a machete and hit him in the face, how we laughed!
We then spent a hilarious hour torturing the old guy in his shed with a can of petrol and a banger, before burying his charred corpse on wasteland - seems a bit mad looking back now, but I guess you’re only young once! 
Young people don’t get outside as much anymore. They just sit around playing video games.
That’s why I voted Leave.
oh was it vote “leave the house”? I missed that.
You understood the detail more than many…
I prefer the fireworks that go off in the middle of the night. In May. And close Bitterne Road for several hours, causing people to be evacuated from their homes and burning the shop to the ground.
They then can’t sell them to the prize fuckers that usually keep setting them off for weeks after the 5th November.
Cunts!
Miserable old git