šŸ»šŸ· The Map of šŸ‡²šŸ‡· Booze thread whatever the title says (or is changed to when moderately intoxicated)

Here you go, I know youā€™ got an ear worm

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After numerous Red Star APA 's at The Guide Dog, I can recommend Bob Mortimoreā€™s latest appearance on Would I Lie to You.
Underwear now in the washing machine.

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Tonightā€™s the night.

Off to Ascot for a beer with Carlos (real name Carl - heā€™s Welsh) and Brazilian Jason. Only see them once a year when Jason comes ā€˜homeā€™ from Brazil so itā€™s always messy. The problem is that we go drinking in Sunning(something ā€¦hill or dale) and the curry house doesnā€™t let anyone in after 10. So we have to binge from 5pm and then head back to Carlosā€™ shed to play guitar and drink Welsh whisky until the wee hours.

Only problem tonight is I have to settle my Ā£25 fantasy football bet with Jason, but I do get to collect Ā£5 from Carlos who last year bet that his all-Welsh fantasy team could come within a 1000 points of our all-Prem teams. Most weeks he didnā€™t even field eleven players. Twat.

Just got to get him drunk and patriotic enough to agree to do it again this year. Bread of heaven, bread of heavenā€¦

Iā€™m sure Iā€™ll be in touch later.

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Think itā€™s Sunningale as the other half lived there as a kid. Bit posh around there.

Itā€™s all really posh round there.

Wherever it is, it has two pubs staggering distance from each other. Both quite posh, oh and Kirsty Gallagher drinks in one of them.

I have pictures!

I mean, an Indian restaurant that we have to phone beforehand and beg them to let us come in as late as 10pm?

Whatā€™s thay about?

Iā€™ve never lived anywhere where the Indian restaurant staff werenā€™t standing outside after closing time trying to drag you inside to spend money on food you didnā€™t want to eat and drink you didnā€™t need.

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Confirmedā€¦before the M3 was opened Sunningdale Level Crossing used to be a pigging bottle-neck on the way to London on the A30.

The lovely Kirsty? Pictures?

Rule 1 or whatever?

Iā€™m just off to be Corporate Charlie at Eastleigh v Aldershot. Apparently they take the beers off you at 2.55.
It could get punchy.

Last night the lesbian Iā€™m in love with kissed me, several times, then invited me back to her place. Then told me she was a lesbian and I slept on the sofa.

Now Iā€™m drinking wine on my own.

n.b. this makes it sound like her faultā€¦ itā€™s nobodyā€™s fault. Shit happens.

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You did well to get a kiss from a lesbian. Look at the positives. Thereā€™s not many men who could have turned her head the way you did.

It could be that you look like a lesbian. My advice is either (a) forget the kiss and your love of the lesbian or (b) go full lesbian and be with this lady.

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Cunts

Evening @saintbletch

Pissed yet?

Rhetorical question

:lou_is_a_flirt:

I have decided to grow a fanny.

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Apparently, the modern thing to do if you are attracted to lesbian women is to self-identity as one and job done.

I may get told off by a few people on here for saying that. Meh.

Get some boobs while youā€™re at it. And then send me photos

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Iā€™m making some cracking progress on this, actually.

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What does a lesbian look like @Fatso

Asking for a friend, like.

Dinger

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Unfortunately, like the one in the shorts.

Oh, my wordā€¦

Is that you then Dinger?