No, what you need is takeaways on Just Eat that you can order spirits from. We’ve, ahem, got one round here.
🍻🍷 The Map of 🇲🇷 Booze thread whatever the title says (or is changed to when moderately intoxicated)
You lucky, lucky, bastard…
(Imagine I’ve inserted a really amusing clip from The Life Of Brian)
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We’ve had late night drink delivery services in the city for at least 15 years. The business model has always been the same. Charge people above the odds for alcohol in a captive market defined by a time window.
What struck the missus and I was just how accessible it was. You could buy it from a fucking app. At £20 a bottle, still over the odds, but you know people will pay it
Just as you know that if a seven year old child got hold of his dad’s payment connected phone, ordered a crate, and then wore a maturing false moustache to take delivery, the unconvinced, underpaid and overworked delivery peep would think “fuck it, I’ve got 10 other orders to deliver”.
Clean living and Body Building is what you need Brizzy. 
Surely you could have walked up any hill close to home and taken a shot.
The wankers back at the studio wouldn’t have a scooby if it was Yeovil or Lymington
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You know it was a good night when the Ayatollah informs you that you were dancing on the table at the Frog and Frigate at 2am.
Would somewhat explain why I feel like a massive tosser this morning 
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I don’t feel that much of a tosser
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Who’s slightly pickled?
Every Englishman & Woman on the plant
Those on an allotment?
I’m pickled Phil, but jeez that gif of Pardew. It’s kind of hypnotic,
We taxied home. Left car at the hotel valet parking. 6 miles from home.
The bar bill says I had 6 London Pride & when that ran out, 2 Heineken.
The house key? Was on the keyring at the valet.
Somehow with my wonky knees and pickledness I managed to climb over this
Then lifted the (wonky) patio door off it’s track to break in to the pad.
Not a scratch & Mrs D_P thinks I’m a hero. For being pickled enough to even try it!`
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Cunts
That’s the same picture you sent the other day…
He’s still on the same pint.
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Looks like he’s been on the same pint for 5 or 6 sessions now…
It would be emptier than that…he has very shaky hands after a sip of beer.
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It’s alright people keep pissing in it to top it up - he can’t tell the difference…
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Twats