# Things I innocently searched for on the Internet, but **URL:** \ **Category:** Monkey Tennis\ **Created:** [30 September 2015 16:56 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264 "2015-09-30T16:56:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/saintbletch/32/618_2.png) [@saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/u/saintbletch)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 16:56 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/1 "2015-09-30T16:56:22Z")
## …soon regretted. ---
**Author:** ![saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/saintbletch/32/618_2.png) [@saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/u/saintbletch)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 17:02 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/2 "2015-09-30T17:02:56Z")
NSFW So, Mrs Bletch told me that she had seen a lot of police activity at a corner shop in Twyford Road, Eastleigh. So I decided to search Twitter for [Twyford](https://twitter.com/search?q=twyford&src=typd). In doing so I came across a prolific tweeter named [twatty @twyford\_david](https://twitter.com/twyford_david), who seems to fill his waking hours thinking about sucking or actually sucking cocks. I was prudishly surprised that Twitter allowed that sort of thing to appear in my search results. Not that I am a real prude, it’s just that Mrs Bletch (who was looking over my shoulder as I searched) has now disabused the average penis length myth that I’d been peddling our entire married life. ---
**Author:** ![saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/saintbletch/32/618_2.png) [@saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/u/saintbletch)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 17:04 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/3 "2015-09-30T17:04:17Z")
> Originally posted by @Sfcsim > > Red bush tea! I actually drink red bush\_ **\*** \_. \_ **\*** \_ Not a euphemism. ---
**Author:** ![Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sfcsim/32/88192_2.png) [@Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sfcsim)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 17:09 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/4 "2015-09-30T17:09:20Z")
I moved up to Carlisle and put ‘the great outdoors’ for this summer… God no! ---
**Author:** ![Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sfcsim/32/88192_2.png) [@Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sfcsim)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 17:09 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/5 "2015-09-30T17:09:50Z")
My red bush has gone! ---
**Author:** ![Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sfcsim/32/88192_2.png) [@Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sfcsim)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 17:15 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/6 "2015-09-30T17:15:45Z")
The old favourite on the other place ‘nuns’ never do any research on them! ---
**Author:** ![WorzelScummage](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/worzelscummage/32/73175_2.png) [@WorzelScummage](https://www.sotonians.com/u/WorzelScummage)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 18:11 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/7 "2015-09-30T18:11:56Z")
When I was at college I was putting random URLs in, and put in [www.fuckmequick.com](http://www.fuckmequick.com), and it came up with a kiddie porn site. Immediately emailed the police (Hampshire Constabulary) to let them know. A day later it no longer worked. True story. ---
**Author:** ![Goatboy](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/goatboy/32/167_2.png) [@Goatboy](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Goatboy)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 18:22 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/8 "2015-09-30T18:22:05Z")
I often wonder what plod would think if they were having a quick scan of my internet searches. Quick sample: fat man in lycra goat rides train how to shoot yourself in the head moroccan flatbread drowning goat heavily armed animals ---
**Author:** ![Barry-Sanchez](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/barry-sanchez/32/76_2.png) [@Barry-Sanchez](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Barry-Sanchez)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 18:22 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/9 "2015-09-30T18:22:45Z")
Why oh why did I click on that link… ---
**Author:** ![saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/saintbletch/32/618_2.png) [@saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/u/saintbletch)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 18:35 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/10 "2015-09-30T18:35:15Z")
You’re bi-curious? ---
**Author:** ![Intiniki](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/intiniki/32/9_2.png) [@Intiniki](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Intiniki)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 18:52 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/11 "2015-09-30T18:52:29Z")
In the early days of our family having internet and being able to use search engines my dad decided it would be good to start searching for something that was in the news / charts a lot at the time. Well that’s his story and he’s sticking to it. He searched for Spice Girls. ---
**Author:** ![Bucks](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bucks/32/87_2.png) [@Bucks](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bucks)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 21:00 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/12 "2015-09-30T21:00:13Z")
At my old employers of 19 years (should never have left, sob) I was searching for RICS, this being the rather dull, but no doubt highly professional, Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors. Work laptop kept refusing to let me do this and said: “You are searching for inappropriate material and this has been flagged internally. Please desist.” Still no clue to this day WTF that was about. ---
**Author:** ![Spudders](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/spudders/32/15_2.png) [@Spudders](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Spudders)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 21:11 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/13 "2015-09-30T21:11:42Z")
I just google image searched it and this was the most offennsive picture I could see ![](https://discourse-sotonians-uploads.s3.dualstack.eu-west-2.amazonaws.com/original/3X/f/c/fc1d555e24259d963ffcd44a37e4a24ce5bd5134.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Fatso](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/fatso/32/18_2.png) [@Fatso](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Fatso)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 21:23 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/14 "2015-09-30T21:23:39Z")
I heard about fanny craddocks fish and chip recipe so searched for “fanny batter”. That was interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/fowllyd/32/74248_2.png) [@Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Fowllyd)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2015 21:30 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/15 "2015-09-30T21:30:37Z")
You sick bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Map-Of-Tasmania](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/map-of-tasmania/32/1298_2.png) [@Map-Of-Tasmania](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Map-Of-Tasmania)\ **Post date:** [1 October 2015 07:05 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/16 "2015-10-01T07:05:53Z")
Disappointing link Bletch darling. ---
**Author:** ![Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bearsy/32/6_2.png) [@Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bearsy)\ **Post date:** [1 October 2015 09:25 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/17 "2015-10-01T09:25:24Z")
I’ve never innocently searched for something on the internet, but I can see how it could be a problem for some people, i.e. rape farmers. I don’t completely believe Twyford Dave- I mean, Beltch’s story either. ---
**Author:** ![Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sadoldgit/32/44_2.png) [@Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sadoldgit)\ **Post date:** [1 October 2015 09:31 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/18 "2015-10-01T09:31:24Z")
Reminds me of the broadcaster who said at the end of one of Fanny Craddocks cookery shows, “May all of your doughnuts look just like Fanny’s.” ---
**Author:** ![Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sfcsim/32/88192_2.png) [@Sfcsim](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sfcsim)\ **Post date:** [1 October 2015 11:30 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/19 "2015-10-01T11:30:50Z")
I just looked up infected gash… That was a mistake! ---
**Author:** ![saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/saintbletch/32/618_2.png) [@saintbletch](https://www.sotonians.com/u/saintbletch)\ **Post date:** [1 October 2015 12:17 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/things-i-innocently-searched-for-on-the-internet-but/3264/20 "2015-10-01T12:17:22Z")
Sorry about that. I realised that most of them were flacid only after sharing the link. But at least I can count to two, Cracked Rib **s**.