# Jaffa Snakes **URL:** \ **Category:** Reasonably serious discussion\ **Created:** [26 July 2017 11:31 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476 "2017-07-26T11:31:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pap](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/pap/32/74795_2.png) [@pap](https://www.sotonians.com/u/pap)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 11:31 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/1 "2017-07-26T11:31:10Z")
In a thread title that may ostensibly be Bazza like, it appears that Western men are losing their fertility. Huge drop in 30 years. Quacks don’t know exactly why. The right wingers that love to point to relative rates of population increase must be shitting bricks. ## Perhaps Shakira law is just around the corner (okay, I’m shooting from the hip here, but apparently they don’t lie) ---
**Author:** ![Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bearsy/32/6_2.png) [@Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bearsy)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 11:39 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/2 "2017-07-26T11:39:51Z")
I wonder if we’re just jacking it more. I blame women, of course, they’ve clearly got better looking, and I’m never more than 3 seconds away from easy access to Sexual Content. It’s only natural I can’t keep my hand from my shaft for more than 20 mins, and the more I jack it, the smaller my sample size gets, if you know what I mean. Stands to reason. ---
**Author:** ![PhilippineSaint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/philippinesaint/32/3978_2.png) [@PhilippineSaint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/PhilippineSaint)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 11:44 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/3 "2017-07-26T11:44:18Z")
But you’re unlikely to get prostate cancer @bearsy so theres the bonus for you ---
**Author:** ![Polski\_Filip](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/polski_filip/32/75318_2.png) [@Polski\_Filip](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Polski_Filip)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 12:08 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/4 "2017-07-26T12:08:17Z")
I blame Marks & Spencer. No not their underwear division, it’s all those additives they used to put in their ready meals that everyone else copied. OR Thanks to this weeks’ Facebook fake news, blame Sugar. It’s caused everything else since the Dinosaurs apparently OR This never happened before you lot started using scented shower gels. Blame this on the demise of Wrights Coal Tar Soap. ---
**Author:** ![pap](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/pap/32/74795_2.png) [@pap](https://www.sotonians.com/u/pap)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 13:45 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/5 "2017-07-26T13:45:07Z")
Updated thread title to Jaffa Snakes. It amuses me more, but I’m rather embarrassed not to have thought of that upfront. ---
**Author:** ![Rallyboy](https://www.sotonians.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/0ea827/32.png) [@Rallyboy](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Rallyboy)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 14:27 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/6 "2017-07-26T14:27:36Z")
To quote an astute medical man, _You get a bucket-and-a-half, when it’s gone, it’s gone._ ---
**Author:** ![TheMightyOstrich](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/themightyostrich/32/129_2.png) [@TheMightyOstrich](https://www.sotonians.com/u/TheMightyOstrich)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 14:29 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/7 "2017-07-26T14:29:00Z")
That’s got to be bullshit - I produce about a bucket a month and have been for years… ---
**Author:** ![lifeintheslowlane](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/lifeintheslowlane/32/690_2.png) [@lifeintheslowlane](https://www.sotonians.com/u/lifeintheslowlane)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 14:33 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/8 "2017-07-26T14:33:50Z")
What a woman needs are **Swimmers** not Drowners. ---
**Author:** ![CB-Saint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/cb-saint/32/95251_2.png) [@CB-Saint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/CB-Saint)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 14:53 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/9 "2017-07-26T14:53:04Z")
I was done by 15. :lou_sad: ---
**Author:** ![Bucks](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bucks/32/87_2.png) [@Bucks](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bucks)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 15:22 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/10 "2017-07-26T15:22:12Z")
No one has checked mine and I am cooking on gas. ---
**Author:** ![Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bearsy/32/6_2.png) [@Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bearsy)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 15:29 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/11 "2017-07-26T15:29:36Z")
That’s why i always drink mine after. Replenish the stocks. ---
**Author:** ![CB-Saint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/cb-saint/32/95251_2.png) [@CB-Saint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/CB-Saint)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 15:50 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/12 "2017-07-26T15:50:12Z")
So what the hell do women do with it? ---
**Author:** ![Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bearsy/32/6_2.png) [@Bearsy](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bearsy)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:02 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/13 "2017-07-26T16:02:10Z")
I have a theory bout that right. What if it turned out that drinking jizz prevents male patern baldness. It would explain the Mystery! I wonder what would happen tho. I wonder if drinking ur own jizz would become socially acceptable. Or, to look another way, maybe having a full head of hair would become socially unnacceptable. You know, kids in street would be pointing on you, laughing and calling you “cum guzzler” ---
**Author:** ![pap](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/pap/32/74795_2.png) [@pap](https://www.sotonians.com/u/pap)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:29 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/14 "2017-07-26T16:29:24Z")
Bear raises some interesting points for us all to consider. First, wanking may be a factor. One of my favourite “pap originals” is the remark “calling \_anyone \_a wanker in the age of Internet porn is an exercise in redundancy”, usually uttered after someone has just called me a wanker. I’ve also read some articles lately about porn destroying relationships, or at least the sexual side of them. I don’t know whether anyone remembers “The Numbskulls” from the Beezer, back in the day, but the premise of the comic strip was little people inside a person working all the controls. I’m not suggesting that the Numbskulls are real; if anything, the human body is far more complex, but I do wonder about the power of the human body to adapt. There are loads of studies which indicate that when people are born without a sense, their other senses tend to be more acute. The classic example would be blind people with better than average hearing. Following a bout of glandular fever, I found out I was allergic to penicillin. The quack ended up putting me on aspirin, which made me bleed internally. Ended up with some really shitty red blood cell count which made everything tiring for about six months. During that time, my hair started falling out. On a repeat visit to the quack, I was told not to worry about going bald - it was just my body adapting, and deciding that right now, supply of oxygen was more important than sorting the follicles out. Given all that, I wonder, is the body simply adapting? e.g. “This bloke is clearly a fucking wanker. What’s the point? Just serve him up with the gruel” ---
**Author:** ![Bathsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bathsaint/32/22_2.png) [@Bathsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bathsaint)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:33 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/15 "2017-07-26T16:33:28Z")
This all sounds like so much bollocks to me. ---
**Author:** ![CB-Saint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/cb-saint/32/95251_2.png) [@CB-Saint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/CB-Saint)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:35 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/16 "2017-07-26T16:35:02Z")
reaches for the veet ---
**Author:** ![pap](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/pap/32/74795_2.png) [@pap](https://www.sotonians.com/u/pap)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:38 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/17 "2017-07-26T16:38:42Z")
Don’t know about that, but remember reading an article which correlated women that were exposed to sperm through sexual contact with lower rates of depression. Interestingly, the study it was based on said the effect was even more pronounced when taken orally. I have never been able to convince too many women of the merits of this study :lou_eyes_to_sky: ---
**Author:** ![KRG](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/krg/32/1061_2.png) [@KRG](https://www.sotonians.com/u/KRG)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:40 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/18 "2017-07-26T16:40:23Z")
I don’t recall this example, but I’ve seen various depictions elsewhere. The thing that has always puzzled me about these scenarios is, what are all the little people made of? Is it a Russian Doll-esque scenario where said ‘little people’ have even more little people inside them? I’m not normal, am I? ---
**Author:** ![Bathsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/bathsaint/32/22_2.png) [@Bathsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Bathsaint)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:41 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/19 "2017-07-26T16:41:03Z")
I think PD James may have been onto something. (It is actually a very good book that I’d highly recommend). ![](https://discourse-sotonians-uploads.s3.dualstack.eu-west-2.amazonaws.com/original/3X/6/8/68a57c1c45624779be3347d2b3e4445ee04f9f51.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![pap](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/pap/32/74795_2.png) [@pap](https://www.sotonians.com/u/pap)\ **Post date:** [26 July 2017 16:48 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476/20 "2017-07-26T16:48:07Z")
Cheers, @bathsaint . Will check it out. Certainly looks different enough from the film to warrant it. I’ve just read the synopsis. Loved the idea that bereft of kids, animals get doted on and people would organise elaborate christening scenes for pets. Fuck me. Can you imagine doing one for a cat? [Next page](https://www.sotonians.com/t/jaffa-snakes/476.md?page=2)