# It's National Limerick Day **URL:** \ **Category:** Monkey Tennis\ **Created:** [12 May 2016 05:52 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037 "2016-05-12T05:52:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/fowllyd/32/74248_2.png) [@Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Fowllyd)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 09:55 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/21 "2016-05-12T09:55:04Z")
The jolly old Bishop of Birmingham, He buggered two maids while confirming 'em. While they knelt down to God, He excited his rod, And pumped his epispocal sperm in 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Sussexsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sussexsaint/32/74_2.png) [@Sussexsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sussexsaint)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 10:21 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/22 "2016-05-12T10:21:13Z")
Three men left Southampton for 'Pool One legend, one useless, one tool The fans thought him weird, as he had a shit beard But the cunt was convinced it looked cool ---
**Author:** ![Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sadoldgit/32/44_2.png) [@Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sadoldgit)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 11:46 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/23 "2016-05-12T11:46:43Z")
There was an internet troll called Fry Who thought he was witty and wry But his idea of wit To many was shit And appealing as pussy that’s wizened and dry. ---
**Author:** ![Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sadoldgit/32/44_2.png) [@Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sadoldgit)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 11:53 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/24 "2016-05-12T11:53:53Z")
There was a sad old git on the forum Who tried to keep a level of decorum When attacked by trolls And internet proles And found it best to ignore 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/fowllyd/32/74248_2.png) [@Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Fowllyd)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 11:56 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/25 "2016-05-12T11:56:43Z")
That legendary chap Balti Stench, Thought _long and hard_ about Louise Mensch. As he pictured her muff, His poor rotator cuff, Just crumbled - my, how he did blench! ---
**Author:** ![Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sadoldgit/32/44_2.png) [@Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sadoldgit)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 12:08 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/26 "2016-05-12T12:08:58Z")
There was a CEO called Cortese Who despised all those he thought lazy He spent other’s money As if it were honey Although Champions League ambitions were crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/fowllyd/32/74248_2.png) [@Fowllyd](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Fowllyd)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 12:14 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/27 "2016-05-12T12:14:19Z")
There was a young man of Dundee, Who was stung on the nose by a wasp. When asked “Does it hurt?” He replied “Not a bit!” “It can do it again if it likes.” ---
**Author:** ![Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sadoldgit/32/44_2.png) [@Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sadoldgit)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 12:25 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/28 "2016-05-12T12:25:05Z")
There was a footballer called Le Tiss Who used to take the piss With the ball at his feet God status he’d meet And penalties would never miss. (execpt one) ---
**Author:** ![Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sadoldgit/32/44_2.png) [@Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sadoldgit)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 12:30 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/29 "2016-05-12T12:30:12Z")
As mine are so crap I have nicked this one… There was a young lady from Hitchen Who was scratching her croth in the kitchen Her mother said "Rose Its the crabs, I suppose" She said, "Yes, and the buggers are itchin’ " ---
**Author:** ![BTripz](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/btripz/32/75839_2.png) [@BTripz](https://www.sotonians.com/u/BTripz)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 13:32 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/30 "2016-05-12T13:32:28Z")
There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar felling so she laid on her back and opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling ---
**Author:** ![BTripz](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/btripz/32/75839_2.png) [@BTripz](https://www.sotonians.com/u/BTripz)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 13:34 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/31 "2016-05-12T13:34:20Z")
There was a poster call Big Bad Bob Who was thought of as a knob To this forum he slipped and renamed himself Btripz still can’t post pictures of naked Nuns, he’d sob ---
**Author:** ![BTripz](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/btripz/32/75839_2.png) [@BTripz](https://www.sotonians.com/u/BTripz)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 13:36 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/32 "2016-05-12T13:36:32Z")
There was a lady called @LouLouMySweet She’d make many hearts skip a beat A sabbatical in Texas she planned Before Trump had her banned Since then we’ve not heard a tweet ---
**Author:** ![Rallyboy](https://www.sotonians.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/r/0ea827/32.png) [@Rallyboy](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Rallyboy)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 15:40 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/33 "2016-05-12T15:40:20Z")
of grammar and style I’m a fan, and structure is always a plan, that helps verse along, but when it goes wrong, it suggests the creator of said piece has never come across the concept of rhythm or has even heard of the word _scan_. ---
**Author:** ![Sussexsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sussexsaint/32/74_2.png) [@Sussexsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sussexsaint)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 17:37 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/34 "2016-05-12T17:37:36Z")
A man in the crowd showed dislike, I’ve been had, he declared, what a tyke ! I was promised something sapphic Naming infants in traffic, but instead We’ve got Fonte and Van Dyjk ---
**Author:** ![Sussexsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sussexsaint/32/74_2.png) [@Sussexsaint](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sussexsaint)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 17:39 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/35 "2016-05-12T17:39:03Z")
Ok weakest yet, but I still think I’m winning \*drops mic\* \*apologises and puts it back on stand\* ---
**Author:** ![Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/sadoldgit/32/44_2.png) [@Sadoldgit](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Sadoldgit)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 18:05 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/36 "2016-05-12T18:05:11Z")
Yep, three men left Southampton for 'Pool gets my vote! ---
**Author:** ![Jack-Schitt](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/jack-schitt/32/98_2.png) [@Jack-Schitt](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Jack-Schitt)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 19:05 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/37 "2016-05-12T19:05:18Z")
There was a place way down on the South Coast whose inhabitants delighted to boast with all manner of poor grammar they stuttered and stammered about who shagged their sisters the most. ---
**Author:** ![Jack-Schitt](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/jack-schitt/32/98_2.png) [@Jack-Schitt](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Jack-Schitt)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 19:09 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/38 "2016-05-12T19:09:20Z")
Their extra digits came very much in handy whenever their families were randy which was most of the time and they’d ran out of wine there was always the trusty hand shandy. ---
**Author:** ![pap](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/pap/32/74795_2.png) [@pap](https://www.sotonians.com/u/pap)\ **Post date:** [12 May 2016 19:38 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/39 "2016-05-12T19:38:39Z")
There was a young fella so handsome He’d hold all the ladies to ransom He’d pull out his cock And call it a clock If challenged, he’d say “put some hands on”. ---
**Author:** ![Jack-Schitt](https://www.sotonians.com/user_avatar/www.sotonians.com/jack-schitt/32/98_2.png) [@Jack-Schitt](https://www.sotonians.com/u/Jack-Schitt)\ **Post date:** [13 May 2016 00:19 UTC](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037/40 "2016-05-13T00:19:21Z")
Down south is a place called Ports-mouth, where they live in a wheely tin house, the people are pervs and their customs absurd, they all like fucking fish in the mouth. [Previous page](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037.md?page=1) [Next page](https://www.sotonians.com/t/its-national-limerick-day/2037.md?page=3)